hmm

well i did something stupid yet again. i always do it and i gess i do it hoping it will change just once but then it doesnt. i give my hopes up on one guy then nothing, sometimes they find someone else sometimes they just dont want anyone. imsry to all these guys i have done that to, it was just me and my stupidity getting away with me again and again.

well in my depression i forgot to have an actual updateabout yesterday. i saw charlie and the chocolate factory with people and the oompa loompas kinda freaked me out but then after all they were pretty cool. most the stuff that wedid was hilarious even thouhg i had a really big headache. i also got my new glasses woohoo. but then i usually dont like to use names because usually bad things happen but because Andrew didnt show up for the movie yesterday without saying anything about not showing up the group of people are getting orginized and shaving his head (hehehehehe) we were gonna try this huge phone thing to try to get his number but i think that kinda fell through and then my moomy had his number the hole time, which was odd. but all i have to say is i hope that andrew wasnt that attatched to his hair (haha play on words). well note to self to people that haveent seen charlie and the chocolate factory, after you watch it you get like really really hungry. well thats all i can remember about yesterday i dont no y.....

Today, i feel like shit (to put it lightly). first of all this day is moving so slow if it goes any slower it will be yesterday. i feel like hollow inside and i dont mean my stomach. my computer is crap. I really need to gice up on 'love' for a while so this time it is a promise, i am not trying anymore, if someone wants to do something they have to say something because i am blind as as bat and im sick of failing all the time (this isnt supposed to be anything mean to those guys im just getting all the crap out of my brain cuz is hurts my brain) i mean i only remember one guy ever trying and then i kinda screwed everything up and for that i am sry but i guess in a really long winded way i just wanna say im done with it all. i hate this hollow feeling that has formed somehow and i dont no if this will help or make it worse but i just wanna get everything out cuz everything is like buggin me, like when people lie to me or other people. well if i put all my frustrations in this journal people would be here for days reading it so im just gonna wuit while im ahead. i wanna leave some quotes that were on the internet.

Quotes
Love is when you miss him before he leaves, when you could listen to him talk all night and never get tired of hearing his voice, when the sound of his name sends chills down your spine, and when you see his smile the second you close your eyes....

as soon as you get online, whose name do you look for first? When a slow song comes on the radio, whose face comes to your mind? When you hear the phone ringing, whodo you hope is calling? whose name makes your heart skip a beat?

don't eat yellow snow. (best quote ever)

we are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dream.

Love is like peein your pants... everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth





okay im done. sary i was so long winded.